Illinois' Secretary of State, in order to avoid having his signature affixed to the same document as impeached governor Blagojevich, signed a separate document to officially seat the next senator of the state. Unfortunately, instead of naming Roland Burriss to the position, a typographical error will now send Giants receiver Plaxico Burress to the senate. The Giants are relieved to be free of the salary committment to the now-former star player, but not entirely happy with the aging Roland Burriss at the wide receiver position. Giants coach Tom Coughlin issued the new Giant Burriss a pair of sweat pants, a handgun, and directions to several swinging hip strip joints in the NYC area, telling Burriss to "live it up - you're an NFL celebrity now." Prognosticators predict an opening at the wide receiver position by the beginning of Spring Training camp.
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